01, April, 2012 PRESS RE-RELEASE
(For Immediate Release and Hype)
TWITTER EXPRESS AND TWITTER EXP ACQUIRED BY TWITTER.COM
I’m happy to announce today, that Twitter has acquired Twitter Express and Twitter Exp. So you will be able to get the same accelerated experience now powered by the Real-Twitter-Engine. Because once you go back, you’ll never try anything else.
The terms of the agreement with Biz and Company were not made public, but let’s just say, I won’t be working a day job any more. But I am looking for a used BMW 650 convertible, if you know any body. Oh, and a ski boat.
Note: Twitter also acquired ClusterTweet, TwitterGhost, TwitterDestroyer, and TwitterHammer. Those applications however, will be shutdown immediately. And we got a lot fewer greenbacks for these. But hey, we were having fun.
The Twitter Joker Network, however will remain independent, as “The Fkn Funny Network(tm).” They tried, but I wanted to keep this one.
If you’ve got something funny, and twitter-related, please forward it on to my new assistant Siri.
PRESS CONTACT: firstname.lastname@example.org
LEGAL CONTACT: email@example.com
BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES: firstname.lastname@example.org
Now get your Twitter business done in half the time, gauranteed. Less thumb fatique, less car crashes, less time spent updating your status when you could be enjoying life.
Sign up now to claim your current twitter.com name on twitterexpress.com, cause once their gone, they’re gone for good.
You can contact us at email@example.com
For full-color go to TwitterExpress.com.
And now tweeting as @hottwiitertips starting 2-8-09.
Our Twitter account was shut down by the Twitter authorities less than 24 hours after our first giggle.